Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Direns Forum -> Off Topic -> Jokes :clap:
Post Info TOPIC: Jokes :clap:
Fistandantilus


The Spamming Moderator

Status: Offline
Posts: 894
Date:
Jokes :clap:
Permalink  

Okay whats the funniest joke you have ever heard before?

alright four guys are in a hospital each have there own injurys, the nurse begans to take there temperature, she takes the first two and dips the thermanitor in 98% alchohol to cleanse it lol, the nurse comes to the third guy well his mouth is wired shut, so she turns him over and sticks it up is Ass, after shes done she dips it in the alchohol then turns to the next guy she walks over and trys to put it in the guys mouth, lol the guy said i dont Fucking think so your not putting that on my bed. the nurse offended said i washed it off in 98% alchohol. then the patient said back, yeah but you put it in 100% Ass lol.


i know this isnt the way it goes, but this is basicly it lol.

__________________
nobl


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 11
Date:
Permalink  

lmfao that is funny

__________________
Celestos


Sweet Moderator

Status: Offline
Posts: 391
Date:
Permalink  

Lmao I needed that. jokes let me think a few lol

__________________
Fistandantilus


The Spamming Moderator

Status: Offline
Posts: 894
Date:
Permalink  

heres another one....

At the height of a happy hour, a man stood up and shouted, All lawyers are Assholes!!

Hey i resent that! a guy at the end of the bar hollered back.

Why? the first man asked. Are you a lawyer?

No! im a Asshole

Lmao this one is totally me






-- Edited by Fistandantilus at 14:22, 2006-06-11

__________________
Celestos


Sweet Moderator

Status: Offline
Posts: 391
Date:
Permalink  

Lmao that was good.

__________________
Fistandantilus


The Spamming Moderator

Status: Offline
Posts: 894
Date:
Permalink  

Thank you Thank you:wOOt:

__________________
Shadamehr


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 667
Date:
Permalink  

did i post this joke yet idk lmao?:


Three guys (roommates) are in hell when God decides to give them a second chance. God tells them they have to stay away from what led them to hell. The first guy had a drug addiction, the second had alcohol problems, and the thrid had a sex addiction. God then sent them back to earth. As they were walking back to their old house, the first guy sees a needle, bends over and sticks it in his arm. POOF the first guy goes to hell. Then the second guy sees a beer bottle on the ground. He bends over to pick it up and POOF the second and third guy go to hell.


This one makes you think about the end lol



__________________
Shadamehr LVL 60 Barb SHA-- Rorrik LVL 60 Barb WAR-- Aniin LVL 60 Erud NEC-- Sonac LVL 60 Erud NEC-- Nowucit LVL 37 Delf MAGE
Fistandantilus


The Spamming Moderator

Status: Offline
Posts: 894
Date:
Permalink  

lol

__________________
Celestos


Sweet Moderator

Status: Offline
Posts: 391
Date:
Permalink  

omg lmao <--he laughed his ass off on that one thats cute lol

__________________
Fistandantilus


The Spamming Moderator

Status: Offline
Posts: 894
Date:
Permalink  

just wondering  lol...it says three guys in hell and GOD?? lol did god and the devil switch spots since the last time i was a christian(practicing buddhist now...i think lol) but it took me a second time to read it to laugh

__________________
Shadamehr


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 667
Date:
Permalink  

i wus meaning while the guys were just newly in hell, God came down to give them a second chance with life. lol i might have misworded it hehehe

__________________
Shadamehr LVL 60 Barb SHA-- Rorrik LVL 60 Barb WAR-- Aniin LVL 60 Erud NEC-- Sonac LVL 60 Erud NEC-- Nowucit LVL 37 Delf MAGE
Celestos


Sweet Moderator

Status: Offline
Posts: 391
Date:
Permalink  

I hope they didn't switch lol

__________________
Fistandantilus


The Spamming Moderator

Status: Offline
Posts: 894
Date:
Permalink  

lol i dont know maybe i read it the wrong way lol oh well

__________________
Azhia


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 34
Date:
Permalink  

LOL that was good shad.. I had to read it twice too, but thats because the printing is really small on here and I missed the end.... im not getting old! I dont need glasses !! just more coffee

__________________
INCOMING!! azhia 33 war..thats it ..just me
Azhia


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 34
Date:
Permalink  

ok.. not sure where this came from.. man I love copy and paste.. I wish I could do this to someone..lol


The Telemarketer


The phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal, and as I
answered it I was greeted with "Is this Karl Brummer".

Not sounding anything like my name, I asked who is calling.

The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer
Company or something like that.

Then I asked him if he knew Karl personally and why was he calling
this number.

I then said off to the side, "get some pictures of the body at
various angles and the blood smears." I then turned back to the
phone and advised the caller that he had called a murder scene. I
told him he must stay on the line because we had already traced this
call, and he would be receiving a Summons to testify in this murder
case.

I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address,
phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the
dead guy and asked if he could prove where he was about one hour
before he made this call.

The telemarketer was getting very concerned. His answers were given
in a shaky voice.

I then told him we had located his position, and the police were
entering the building to take him into custody. At that point I
heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.

As I returned to our table, my wife asked me why I had streams of
tears running down my face. So help me, I couldn't tell her for
about fifteen minutes. My meal was cold, but it was the best meal I
had in a long, long time.



__________________
INCOMING!! azhia 33 war..thats it ..just me
Shadamehr


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 667
Date:
Permalink  

do it to me. heres my number:


1-800-BIGWEINER



__________________
Shadamehr LVL 60 Barb SHA-- Rorrik LVL 60 Barb WAR-- Aniin LVL 60 Erud NEC-- Sonac LVL 60 Erud NEC-- Nowucit LVL 37 Delf MAGE
Celestos


Sweet Moderator

Status: Offline
Posts: 391
Date:
Permalink  

lmao

__________________
Fistandantilus


The Spamming Moderator

Status: Offline
Posts: 894
Date:
Permalink  


Shadamehr wrote:
do it to me. heres my number:
1-800-BIGWEINER


you bastard...you KNOW thats my number!! lol

__________________
Shadamehr


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 667
Date:
Permalink  

i thot urs wus 1-800-WOW-ITS-COLD

__________________
Shadamehr LVL 60 Barb SHA-- Rorrik LVL 60 Barb WAR-- Aniin LVL 60 Erud NEC-- Sonac LVL 60 Erud NEC-- Nowucit LVL 37 Delf MAGE
Azhia


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 34
Date:
Permalink  

teacher gives out an assignment. Write the shortest story possible, but must include mystery, religion and sex, but with as few words as possible.


One kid got an A+, this was his story


Good god, Im pregnant, wonder who did it?



__________________
INCOMING!! azhia 33 war..thats it ..just me
1 2  >  Last»  | Page of 2  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Direns Forum -> Off Topic -> Jokes :clap:
Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse 		Powered by ActiveBoard